Style Conversational Week 1206: We got longed with our song parodies
The Style Invitational Empress on the week’s new contest and results
By Pat Myers
Pat Myers
Editor and judge of The Style Invitational since December 2003
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December 15, 2016
Methode, The Washington Post’s publishing (aka “content management”)
system, tells me that this week’s online Style Invitational — the new
contest, Week 1206, plus the song parody
results — runs some 85 column inches. Because I’d rather you take the
time to read them rather than hang around here (not to mention that when
I post songs online, I have to manually add a code at the end of every
line in each song, and I’m tired), I’m not going to add many inches here.
As always, the Week 1202 contest brought
forth far more inkworthy parodies than I could include — and as always,
I included too many for a sane person to read, anyway. The theme for
this contest, which ran barely a week after the election, was something
incorporating “hope,” though I knew from the start that the songs didn’t
need to be really rosy, and that “hope” could be interpreted pretty
broadly; the optimistic lyrics for Mark Raffman’s runner-up, for
example, were from the perspective of ISIS. I even looked the other way
when Kel Nagel’s “Rockin’ Robin” parody ended with a line about hope
that seemed tacked on just to qualify.
Some of the entries, however, were ... well, “hopeless” might give the
wrong idea. Especially when they were as good as these two:
The only ray of hope in this one by veteran Loserbard Frank Osen was its
title:
*Maybe He’ll Cave on Some Things*
/To “My Favorite Things”/
Slapping his name on some bright shiny building
In 10-foot tall letters with solid-gold gilding,
Rallies and sallies and 3 a.m. tweets,
Raking in money and counting receipts,
Hissing and dissing at someone who heckles,
And buying self-portraits with other folks’ shekels,
Thinking he’d still be content with such things—
Is, sadly, now one of my favorite things.
Then there was this one by a newcomer, college student Annie Sawamura —
which I think would have been our first-ever parody of the “SpongeBob
SquarePants” theme :
Ohhhhhhhh,
Who lives in a tower and sold fake degrees?
Our new POTUS!
Intolerant, orange, of course GOP!
Demagogue and Pence!
Misogynist comments they somehow dismiss!
Gun laws! Queer rants!
If your state voted red, something wicked’s amiss!
Evil lair plans?
Jude Law’s great aunts,
Corn cobs, sweatpants --
All as competent
as our elect!
---
It’s no surprise to any regular Invite reader that a parody by Nan
Reiner once again walks off with the Inkin’ Memorial — it’s Nan’s 14th
win in all — or that Mark Raffman scored with yet another of his
parodies of “Be Our Guest,” or that Barry Koch finds himself in the
Losers’ Circle for the 20th time. But it’s just the fifth blot of ink,
and the very first appearance “above the fold,” for runner-up Jane
Pacelli and her helpful suggestion for holiday charity.
In fact, we have a lot of new and infrequent names among this week’s
inking entrants — I certainly hope to see more from all of them. Brad
Kelly of Bethesda, Md. (and I’m assuming it’s the same Brad Kelly of
Bethesda, Md.) , who wrote the clever “2-0-2-0” parody on “YMCA” (and
another song that almost made the cut as well), got four blots of ink
from Week 248 to Week 299 — that’d be 1997 and 1998. Let’s hope we don’t
have to wait another 18 years! And how about the impressive parodies
from First Offenders Rhoda Feigenbaum (her “Tonight” was copy chief
Courtney Rukan’s favorite of the week), Elizabeth McQueen and Elliott
Shevin?
Notice, by the way, that this week’s retrospective contest, Week 1206,
is exactly like the retrospective contest of Week 1205 — except that you
may also enter send in a Week 1202 song parody. I’m certainly not averse
in printing some more hope or (n)ope four weeks from now.
Late note: While I’ve been writing up the Conversational this afternoon,
I’ve also been in negotiations with Big Management over the inclusion of
the word “schlonged” in Brad Kelly’s parody; The Post’s managing editor
wasn’t sure that readers would realize that it was a quote from Trump
himself, about Hillary Clinton. He was satisfied that I added a link on
the word that led to a 2015 Post story
about
the comment — with “schlonged” in the headline.
*SPEAKING OF PARODY TIME ... *
If you haven’t gotten your Evite for the*annual Loser Post-Holiday Party
potluck*, Saturday evening, Jan. 14, email me from the address you want
me to use, and I’ll send it to you. While we’re all saddened to hear
that Nan Reiner will be recovering from surgery and won’t be able to
come up from Florida to lead the parodies (especially the ones she
writes for the occasion), we hope she’ll feel well enough to make us a
video. We will, however, have Loser Steve Honley at the piano, and
several people either eager or at least willing to sing some new
parodies and at least a couple from Week 1202. Currently the person
planning to travel farthest to reach the home of the incredibly
gracious Loser Steve Langer and Alison Fultz is Matt Monitto, who’s
coming all the way from Connecticut. Perhaps Matt will do an encore of
his “Hamilton” parody that
he sent for in our last song contest — complete with costumed video.
We’re back one more week before Christmas — see you then.